lacey days

12/3/09 So here I am, wondering what the hell.
I'm trying not to dwell on the negative... I actually succeeded for a few hours today by listening to recordings by masteringalchemy.com, a truely amazing site with freeeeee energy tools and seminars. This morning I was thinking I really did not want to be here anymore. Thanksgiving was amazingly good. Tom did not get drunk, and neither did my brother (who I am glad is realizing there is more to life than getting drunk every night.) My religious father and his wife were pleasant and I found I could actually laugh (inwardly of course) at thier tyranical political views (obama is a communist and wants to convert the u.s into muslim) and the comment that "did it worry me my daughter was flaunting her breasts". Hmmmm
She did crash her car! the day before thanksgiving which has been a huge emotional growth for me to deal with. Not quite sure how to handle it, like a good mother "SHOULD", part of me wants to strangle her, definately scream, ground her for 2 years, etc. but alas, I remember she is just an immature incapable teenager. who of course does not appreciate anything we do for her, Oh, and then the phone bill has an extra $220 charge cause of long distance calls and she went over her texting limit! God did I screw up somewhere with her? There is probably some kind of destiny/karma payback. Obviously the issue with my daughter is sensitive. And then Tom had to go and get drunk 2 days in a row, even after he told me he wouldn't. He is such an asshole when he drinks. I don't deserve this. My betrayal pictures are huge right now. The last thing is that we are really broke, not much job market here. But Thankyou, to my bro who loaned us $1000 til the land sale goes thru. So, right this second in the present time, all is good. Maybe it is because I'm not at home? hmmmm

11/12/09
Words of the day... Love and Gratitude
Well, hmmm.... here I am, unemployed. hmmm
Its rather interesting, feeling uncertain and out of control. I haven't been unemployed this long in 30 years. I love not working, its the challenge of paying bills that steals my focus. Bills, how did we ever get to This? Anyway, I am working on my abundance factor.
My daughter was referred to Juvenile Court in April due to excessive absences... She has a chronic attitude/stomach/stress problem. It has been utter hell, dealing with the court system and control freaks. Then, Rather than being a victim, I realized I Could be Senior, and control my/her current court destiny. I asked my healing masters (helpful spirit guides) to set up the meeting with the principal to go "more than well", and whalah they offered that she sign up for a "504" plan ( a document stating her chronic condition and need for excused absences and that the teachers work with her to keep her grades up). It was soo easy, we got it the next day. Then the Judge from hell refused to acknowledge the 504 until our court date 3 weeks later (apparently she has the right by law to wait 60 days!). So we waited, (a test of my ability to trust and surrender) and in the meanwhile I hired a lawyer. No more fooling around. Not that I could afford it but it was well worth it. Come Court date, I asked the healing masters to set up the court room with good juju and magic happened, the Judge cannot deny the legal "paper trail" I created, or the lawyer who would not take any shit from her, and she dismissed us, just like that, after 6 months of torture. Of course she did try to make us feel guilty but to no avail. Was it just a coincidance? I don't think so.
I was employed for 1 month temporarily, Now I am applying for unemployment, and wouldn't you know it they are scrutinizing the reasons I left my last job 6 months ago (I worked there for 3.5 years). So I sent my healing masters again, we'll see.

Check out this utube site about the utterly amazing energy of water. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwgEMssaqwg&feature=related
there are 9 parts, truely amazing, I feel different after watching this.

OHMYGAWD

It must have been in the stars...
All in one week, one day actually, i popped and the universe popped back. I quit my job (2 week notice) on a Friday. Then I went looking for a new job, and 2 of the women at the places I was applying recongnized me as "the local breastfeeding specialist" which I USED to do years ago. They asked for help, I was dumb founded as it had been sooo long since I had had any request. then a THIRD call from someone I have known casually for years, begging for help with Breastfeeding. I went and we experience a miracle. She got the healing she needed via me as the conduit, and I got a big hello from the universe. WhenI returned home, my husband insisted that I tell him what I was planning, he "could just feel that I wanted to tell him something". So, I told him I was moving out, leaving, going, (when I found a place). He responded like a shocked, hurt alcoholic would. He drank more. shut down more. Then one day more and he began to cave. when he let his heart finally open, he cried and we "connected".